I don’t want my kids to ‘just be happy’ and here’s why


We tell our kids over and over that we just want them to be happy. We do things in order to facilitate that happiness. We try to predict the future by preparing them for it. We push them to fulfill their potential, set and meet goals, achieve, succeed…then, when they grow up with all of this experience and all of these skills, for sure they’ll be happy.

Just be happy.

We say we just want our kids to be happy. We feel it in our hearts. We stress and strive and push and contrive. Happy.

What about that?

I think by saying and believing that that is all we want we are saying that happiness is a way of being. It’s not. It’s an emotion, a feeling, as much as sadness. Happiness is a place of being.


Being in happiness.

If we say we only want them to be happy will they feel shame for having sadness or depression or anxiousness? Would it not be best to say we want them to be. Just be, my sweet child. Just be where you are. Who you are.

Just be Hank. Be Wyatt. Be Ellie.

To be present in whatever place they are and enjoy it or experience it for what it is. And then have the tools and knowledge to let it go and accept what comes next.

Live in the flow of what life brings with honest acceptance and brilliance no matter happiness or sadness. To just be present with themselves.

Wouldn’t that be the best wish for them? To have full acceptance of what is and what isn’t with the capacity to know the difference and to move through it with ease and fluidity.

Be in happiness.

Be in joy.

Be in the place you are.

Be who you are.

Be. You.