As I scroll through post after post, throwing my time into the swirling vortex that is the FB time suck, I wonder… If I (you, we, whatever) were to die unexpectedly tomorrow and all that was left of me and my existence were the words I’d written, the photos and videos I’d shared and the impressions I’ve made on people, would I feel happy, fulfilled and complete?
A friend recently had a friend die in an accident and I snooped over to the deceased persons FB page. Beautiful. Adventures, happiness, humanitarian civic projects… Forever the most important things to him are memorialized. I have several people in my fb friends list that are now gone. I sometimes go visit their walls to get a piece of them, get inside their last thoughts. I miss them. I want to reach out and touch their souls. I want to see a bathroom selfie before they went to a scary important meeting. I want too read about how pissed they were that their coffee pot broke but that they now know the glory of drive thru coffee shops. I want to see a picture of their feet while they relaxed on a boat or beach or their deck. I want to smell their neck in a hug just one last time and as close to that as I can get is scrolling their fb wall and photos and everything they found important enough to share with the world.
If this is me. If these words are, someday, all that is left of the battle, the struggles, the passion, the love and the joy in my heart, am I saying everything that I should? Am I sharing myself in a way that my left-behinders could catch the slightest whiff of the lavender oil I wear when I’m nervous. Would these words fill a void in the readers heart where the touch of my hand once calmed them? Will my leavings warm their being when they just needed to remember the rhythm of my chaos?